THE BACK STORY TO THIS BLOG

After last week’s post, you might where I got that list of 10 attitudes to help you discover the beauty of YourSelf.

Most of it is what I learned as I recovered from an abusive childhood.  Many are my own insights.  But I never met a book I didn’t like; and I learned others during my education and training.

Healing from the train-wreck of my childhood was my first life mission.  

I was horribly depressed from childhood into adulthood.  I was 38 before the negative effects of my depression on my family pushed me into psychotherapy.

My recovery really took off when I heard an interview on the radio one morning.  Dr. Shad Helmstetter explained that our nasty internal comments create the lives we live.  Remember GIGO.  We send garbage into our minds and are often surprised when we get garbage out.

This was amazing stuff in the mid-1980’s.  Who knew then that all that snarky internal self-judgement injures us.  It’s well established neuroscience now.

So I began to change how I talked to myself.  I stopped calling myself names when I blew some task.  I worked at eliminating negative self-talk.  I stopped day-maring every possible catastrophe.  I learned that manageable personal disasters don’t have global negative effects that last forever.

Overtime my perspective changed.  I created a more positive and accurate self-story.

Helping other people heal became my second life mission.  

I changed careers from public accountancy to ministry and psychology.  The knowledge I gained and the process of changing careers gave me more insights.

Every person is born inwardly whole and complete.  There may be physical problems with one’s body at birth.  But inside, we are innocent, beautiful and miraculous.  With good enough parenting we grow into great human beings.  And we all deserve to have wonderful, plentiful and joyful lives.

But scars from tragic events such as early accidents and child abuse can slow us or even stop us from living out if our innately beautiful nature.  The scars of undeserved shame, buried anger, depression, anxiety and hopelessness top the list of life stealers.

And during childhood we can develop behaviors that aren’t helpful now that we are adults.  We protected ourselves by acting out or by withdrawing.  Some of us have done both.

What would help a child now?  Parents (or other loving caregivers) who recognize and accept the needs and worldview of children, parents who recognize the signs that something is wrong, and who provide competent psychotherapy as soon as possible if it is necessary.

We are no longer children.  But we can recover from tragedy events at any age.  Not that it is easy to recover from shame, depression, anxiety and hopelessness.  It is a serious and emotional business and takes time.  It usually requires the help of a competent psychotherapist.  Therapy gives us objective input about ourselves and helps us change whatever needs changing.

How do we get to such a negative state in the first place?  The brain is wired to be negative.  That’s how we keep the possibly fatal error rate down.  One really wrong decision can kill us.

The brain always first assumes that something new is dangerous.  We have to decide whether that’s true or not to accomplish anything.

Helping you live out the miracle that you are.

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